When I was in ninth grade, I accidentally brushed against my friend Maria’s arm and felt something unusual, like a small packet. Curious, I asked her about it. She hesitated for a moment before whispering that it was a taweez (amulet), given to her by her parents to protect her from evil spirits.

Maria often had hallucinations and would sometimes faint in class. Bruises and marks appeared on her arms and around her neck, which she tried to hide. But one day, something unexpected happened—Maria got engaged. She was still in school, too young for such a commitment. When we asked her why, she simply said, “Someone told my parents that marriage will heal me. Once I get married, all my problems will be solved.”

Maria’s case was not unique. In my neighborhood, a 17-year-old boy struggling with cannabis addiction faced a similar “treatment.” His parents never sought therapy or professional help. Instead, they followed a well-known cultural prescription: marriage.

Shadi karalo! Sab thek hojyega!!!

This isn’t an isolated trend. In South Asian societies, marriage is the go-to remedy for everything. A girl is rebellious? Marry her off. A girl gets bad grades? Find her a groom. A boy refuses to work? Get him a wife. It’s our society’s secret formula, our magical one-size-fits-all solution.

But don’t share this secret outside of South Asia! Western societies might catch on to our ultimate success strategy. After all, it’s a multi-purpose fix. A disobedient boy? Marry him off. A household needs someone to do the chores? Get your son a nice bride. No need to hire a maid or a cook when a daughter-in-law can fill in.

In poorer households, marriage also becomes an economic transaction. The burden of feeding one less mouth is a relief, and dowry, a deeply entrenched yet conveniently denied practice, helps further. Some demand jobs for their son. Others provide long lists of furniture and household appliances, sometimes saving them up for their own daughter’s dowry later. A girl from a poor family? Sell her off in marriage; problem solved.

And it’s not just about financial struggles. Even among well-educated families, social pressure dominates. The aunties, the ever-watchful custodians of tradition, will remind you that daughters have an expiry date. If they “expire,” no one will want them, and their lives will be ruined forever.

But hush, let’s keep this secret formula within our society. It’s too precious to be exposed. After all, why solve real problems when you can just marry them away?

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